Passion Project?

I have discovered that I actually thrive on deadlines, through struggles and unreasonable expectations. Being tired is too easy.

Sunday, July 20 2025

Passion Project?

Two months ago, in the middle of a pretty deep existential crisis, I began to formulate an idea. An idea that I hoped would help me establish a new path.

Looking at that sentence, I’m startled by how non-commital it sounds. But at least it was a start.

My idea was to launch a new writing project that would exist in two parts. The longer-term part would be to do some deeply researched writing about my travel experiences, and the shorter-term part would be to develop a daily writing platform that would hone my ability to produce something publicly consumable on a regular basis.

As a retired person, I have the time to take on such a project, and to some degree, this project has become my new work. This is how I keep my brain active and my mind positively engaged.

I have been retired for 3 years, and I’m still getting the hang of it. I find the endless days of freedom very enjoyable, but I also find the endless days of freedom very unnerving.

I have discovered that I actually thrive on deadlines, through struggles and unreasonable expectations. Being retired is too easy.

I needed a passion project. Something that would consume my brain space and push me to do things that were challenging and unexpected.

But here’s where I got stuck. It felt so selfish and pompous to just declare myself a writer and start a long-term writing project just because I could. I guess I felt guilty about having the time and the resources to make that choice.

And I was reminded of a certain character in Middlemarch. I did not want to be that person!

On May 15, 2025, I wrote this in my Thought Diary, reminding myself that it was okay to do exactly what I wanted to do.

Thursday, May 15 2025

Passion project

One of George Eliot’s most unlikeable characters in her 1871 masterpiece Middlemarch is Edward Casaubon, an insufferable and pompous middle-aged scholar who spends his whole life compiling his ‘masterwork’, Key to All Mythologies.

Being a ‘gentleman’ with an annual income means that he can become obsessed with an endless project with no purpose.

Retirement, if you are comfortable, can provide a similar opportunity. But most people, I believe, are more measured in their choices of hobbies.

I’m thinking of retired men in their workshops or retired women with a bit more time for their gardening projects. There are also couples who sail around the world, or walk the Appalachian Trail.

And some people, I imagine, actually embark on the work they’ve always wanted to do, or were meant to do, their whole lives. Why wouldn’t you, if you were able.

I am very fortunate. I can fill most of my waking hours almost any way I want. I can spend the next 5 years researching a topic for no reason other than I am interested. I am also not restricted to researching only from books.

I can go as far down each rabbit hole as I like.

I just need to ensure that I don’t turn into Casaubon…